


Beyond Words

by Mareel



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Episode: s04e15 Affliction, Episode: s04e16 Divergence, Established Relationship, Future Fic, M/M, Section 31, Weapons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 02:52:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mareel/pseuds/Mareel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A long-ago breach threatens to reopen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beyond Words

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place approximately twelve years after the events of the Season 4 episodes "Affliction"/"Divergence". Jonathan and Malcolm have a long-established relationship, and this is Malcolm's voice.
> 
> (Minor warning for a bit of strong language.)

 

  
_Silence is the ultimate weapon of power._ –  Charles de Gaulle  


 

“It must have been quite a day, Jonathan.” I smile a little, nodding at the tumbler of bourbon that he’d poured almost immediately after walking in the door of our San Francisco flat.

He nods, half-draining the glass and contemplating topping it up before deciding otherwise and pushing it toward the side of the table. 

“I don’t know if you’ve heard the news. It’s supposed to be highly classified, but maybe you have sources.” 

When my silence seems to surprise him, he continues. “Harris… he and his team just stepped into a Romulan trap. He’d been attempting to play both sides.” Jon doesn’t hide the bitterness in his voice very well. “As usual.”

“I haven’t heard anything from him in years… and haven’t had the slightest interest in following his career.” I try to catch Jonathan’s eyes, but he has picked up his drink again and is studying the amber liquid as he swirls it. “But I can’t say I’m surprised… or sorry to see him overreach and hang himself out to dry. I do hope it didn’t cause a major Starfleet incident.”

Jon shakes his head, pushing the glass away again. “Starfleet denied any association with him. I might possibly have had something to do with writing the press release. I don’t like his goals or his methods. And I really don’t like _him_.”

I knew Jonathan had never been happy about using him as an information source on the very rare occasions when we had no options. But he was pragmatic enough at those times to realize it was his only choice, and move past it. I should have realized that didn’t mean he’d forgiven or forgotten Harris’ attempt to use me to carry out his schemes with the Klingons.

“I used to hear some scuttlebutt from people I’d worked with in covert ops. I’m pretty sure I told you every time I did learn something that seemed to have the slightest credibility. But to be honest, most of that has dried up. Those people have moved on… or are dead…” Trying to lighten the mood a bit, I add, “Or they became leery of talking to me once I married an Admiral. That’s probably why Harris has left me alone too, now that I think about it.”

I reach across the table to rest my hand on Jon’s. He takes a deep breath and turns his hand to clasp mine, finally meeting my eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Malcolm. I don’t know why I’m reacting this way…” He breaks off the sentence to correct himself. “That’s not true. I know exactly why. The bastard nearly succeeded in driving a wedge between us… something that never happened before or since. He never apologized for that, and I’ve never forgiven it.”

It’s hard to know how to reply, and maybe I wait a moment too long. 

“You did that then too.”

His comment puzzles me. “I did what then?” I know my behaviour had been inexcusable, but we’d talked it through as we found our way back together, and I thought it was behind us.

“Silence. It was your weapon then, or so it seemed to me.” 

It is almost as if Jonathan has flashed back in his mind to that day in the brig when I thought, out of some goddamn misplaced loyalty, that I couldn’t tell him about Harris and his machinations. Before I can say anything now, he continues.

“I needed you to tell me what the hell was going on and you insisted on saying nothing… leaving me no choice about the brig or anything else. It felt like you were deliberately shutting me out…”

He probably doesn’t even realize that he has just shifted from the professional to the personal pain I caused him. I reach across the short distance between us to touch his cheek for a moment, which seems to bring him back to the present… to our present. “I didn’t mean it as a weapon, Jon. Please believe me. I just didn’t know what I should say… which we know was my mistake. But it was never personal. It hurt so much not to answer, not to tell you everything.”

Jonathan nods, squeezing my hand that he’s still holding. “I know. We talked about it and I thought it was past… but having forgiven you is very different from doing the same for Harris. I still have the urge to ask him what the fuck he was thinking… then and now.”

Something about his words snaps a realization into place. “It seems we each have a weapon of choice. You believed silence was mine. I just now realized that words are yours. You want to use words with Harris now, to lash out at him… well-deserved, but ultimately futile with him, I’m afraid.” I hesitate a moment before continuing, but know our relationship is strong enough to bear the honesty.

“You used words that way with me… in the brig. Beyond asking for information. You asked what my father would think if he saw me there, disgraced. That hit home, Jonathan, even after I thought I fully understood what I’d done. You knew exactly what my father’s reaction would be, probably as well I did. But using those words bared every bit of your pain to me and I was devastated… not so much for myself, but for how deeply I’d hurt you to prompt that.”

This time it’s Jon who is silent for long moments as he studies our joined hands, finally reaching out to touch the simple ring I’m wearing, tracing it with a fingertip. The ring that matches his. The ones we exchanged a few years after that incident, not long before his promotion to admiral in Starfleet. 

When he finally speaks, his voice is quiet and threatens to break. “I didn’t realize I’d done that, Malcolm. I was angry, upset, hurt… but I shouldn’t have thrown that at you, ever. I don’t think you’ve ever told many people about your relationship with your father… but you’d trusted me with it. And I used it against you. Potent weapons, indeed… words.”

I nod, adding, “And silence.”

He chews his lip, still thinking. “Harder to calibrate than a phase pistol… nothing so obvious as stun and kill, as you once pointed out to me on the first prototypes.”

Without releasing his hand, I stand and draw him with me toward the couch. I settle close to his side, sighing with relief as his arm slips around my shoulder, pulling me closer still. 

Just as he’s about to kiss me, I whisper against his mouth. “Sometimes silence simply means we don’t need words.”

 


End file.
